One thing we all have in common as leaders… we all have hearts!? And sometimes our hearts grow cold through the pressures on leadership.
Is my heart fresh and alive, or have I become a poser?
Pastor Peter Pendell knows a lot about this topic, having been a dead leader running himself.?? Listen to this great podcast interview with Peter as he tells his story of reviving his heart after some false starts!
Peter Pendell is the retired senior pastor(30 years) of Millington Baptist Church in Basking Ridge, NJ.? He is currently the interim pastor of Queens Christian Alliance Church in Flushing, NY.? www.qcac.org
Notes from the Interview
I guess it was when I started to think about moving on to another church … I felt pretty much overwhelmed and ineffective – my bucket was full …
I didn?t even think about my heart growing cold. I had been at my church for about 20 years – I just thought I needed a change …
What were the symptoms of a tired burned out heart?
- I had run out of steam; I lacked creativity and patience … I just wanted to go home and not come back in the morning … Everything was a chore, not a delight as it had been in the past …
- I had tremendous conflict within my staff, but I thought it was them – one guy in particular … If I could just straighten him out, or better yet, get rid of him, I?d be fine … But I didn?t have the inner strength to confront him …
- I had flat-lined emotionally … no highs or lows … I looked okay but there wasn?t much going on on the inside of me …
- And my relationship with God had been reduced to a duty … it was hard to call it a relationship … I did what I had to do but there was no joy in doing it …
What did you do about it?
I tried to fix it – like I had always done … I thought at first that my problem was deficits in gifting and training and experience …
So I got a mentor for the areas where I felt like I needed to grow … He was an early-retired CEO who gave me things to read, training seminars to attend and time each week to talk about what I was learning … I tried – he tried – but I finally realized that we were trying to make me into something I wasn?t …
That?s when I began to realize that my problem was my heart – that reservoir out of which Jesus says my motivation and words and thoughts and actions flow … My heart was not polluted, it was just tired and empty …
So I got help from people who know about the heart:
- I started to see a counselor I could trust …
- I started reading books about the heart, not just the mind which had been my recourse in the past …
- And I walked through a process outlined in the Grief Recovery Handbook by James and Friedman …
What would you recommend to leaders today who feel burned out?
- Do the hardest thing first – talk to somebody who understands these things … a good counselor or pastor or friend … If the answer that comes back is, ?You just have to try harder.? find somebody else …
- Slow down and learn how to reflect … Worship music helps me most with that … and certain books, read slowly and reflectively, are great for me … I met with a group of men who were wrestling with the same issues – very helpful …
What about those who have bailed out but would like to come back?
Work on getting your heart back …
As you recover your heart and establish healthy patterns that feed your heart, realize that you are now uniquely positioned to help others … you?re like the 50 year old guy who works himself into a physical heart attack – he learns from it – and he returns to the market place with a balance and maturity that he couldn?t have had otherwise …
?Books Recommended by Peter:
Grief Recovery Handbook, by John W. James and Russell Friedman
The Sacred Romance by John Eldredge
Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
The Heart and the Fist by Eric Greitens
Cycling Home from Siberia by Rob Lilwall
Lone Survivor by Marcus Luttrell
Abba?s Child by Brennan Manning
The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus by Brennan Manning
The Emotionally Healthy Church by Peter Scazzero
I Quit by Geri Scazzero
The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard
